A letter to little me or a letter from little me

Those of you who use tiktok might have seen this trend that has been going around at some point this summer, where essentially people would remind themselves to think of their younger self whenever they were being mean to themselves. I do not think there has been any other tiktok trend I loved as much and that has resonated with me to this extend. To be honest, thinking of my younger self is something I have done for quite some time whenever I felt demotivated or lacking direction. I remember thinking as child and teenager, that it is crazy that adults just give up on their dreams; that adults just seem to lack creative or rather that adults so often lose their sense of dreaming and thriving for what they dreamt of. In a way the older I get the more I understand why younger me was shocked about that, but also I do understand more and more why people accidentally give up on their dreams. It really is not that easy to keep working on them, because let's be real life can be draining and make you wonder what the point is of it all. And also dreams change. 

At the same time, the older I  get the more I also realise how important is to go after your dreams. Because if you don not - life does not get better. I am not saying life is awful if you do not go after your dreams, but more that life will be hard regardless. Life is so beautiful but it als extremely challenging. At the end of the day you need both and you will always have both, but you might as well have both while living a life you want to live. I say this very lightly - as if it really is that easy or is it? The thing is I do not really know. It depends on individual cases as well, because at the end of the day we do live in a world where depending which family, gender, country, skin colour you were born into defines how many barriers you will have to face throughout life. Nevertheless, I do still believe that we can all live parts of the life we dream of if we just give it a chance. At least we can try. 

"Trying" is worth so much more than I thought for a long time. You might not always achieve what you aimed for, but if I am being honest I much rather try my absolut best and fail then not try at all. However, sometimes I do forget that. Sometimes I think what even is the point. Sometimes I do not even know where exactly I am heading. Sometimes I feel like because of that I do not know what to try for, because as said dreams change. One thing I have also learnt however the older I get is, that it does not matter if dreams change. You still should try to go after the ones you are currently having, because nothing is heavier than the regret of not going after what you wanted - even if you do not want it anymore. Not knowing what could have been if you had at least tried. 

And that's when I need to think of little me. Little me was so motivated. She wanted to change the world but man she also know that one person cannot do it all. However, little me said you can still do small thing to make this world a better place. And to make this world a better place also means to make yourself happy. And that means to just jump sometimes and to not overthink.  Most importantly though, little me knew she can achieve whatever she puts her mind to, as long as she goes after it. 

Sometimes though, your mind can not only be your biggest thrive and support- it can also prevent you from doing anything. So much time this year especially I spent fighting against my inner wishes. I felt overwhelmed by life and I let other peoples worries become my worries. If I could give one piece of advice to younger me, and to anyone really, then that you should not let other peoples fears and worries get to you. You need to trust your own gut and you will find your way. One thing that is somewhat important however, is to clear your mind. To figure out what makes you happy and to not worry too much about how you are going to make I work and instead just try to make it work. 

This is where thinking of little me helped me a lot the past few months. I was questioning which way to go , starting to question where I want to be, what I can really do. And then I started to think back to little me. Little me was so driven. And to be honest I am very proud of little me, because she did a lot of cool stuff and she did her thing. Whenever I think of little me, I get reminded that it is so important to believe in yourself, to do you, to not let others get into your head and most importantly to not focus on the bad what ifs but the positive ones. When I think of little me I also feel responsible to live up to what she expected me to do. It also helps remind me of how much more I will regret not going after what I truly want. Sometimes that puts a bit of pressure on me, I will be honest, but most times it helps me feel motivated again. To do better for myself and in order to do better for myself all I really need to do is keep trying. And also to enjoy the ride and to not be too hard to myself. 

Because just like the TikTok trend said: if you are mean to yourself remember you are also being mean to your younger self. In my case I would be mean to her and honestly I think nothing would break my heart more: